I'm sorry if I'm gonna write nothing but darkness and sobs here. I just don't know how to handle this right now. I'm crushed and I don't know how to get up. I couldn't believe I end up shaking and my lips are trmebling, hugging myself trying to pull back my tears. I guess no one would ever understand my pain of wanting so much to hug someone so tight and yet you're trying to push that thought away, that thought that she might be holding and cuddling someone else. The pain of the thought that you used to be that someone. I wish I could shout this out loud enough to make her hear me. She's already pushing me away like a total stranger stalking.